This page was last updated on: January 26, 2005
YouThink.com Newsletters 2003-05
Funniest Forum Comments
Putterer (11)
Random Comment: 1/6/03
Pocosublima: Imagine if you will. You go to the bank to deposit a check for a friend, the bank is closed so you're like hey we can try the atm. So you're walking up to the atm and you see 20's sticking out of the money thing. What do you do?
Putterer: Take the money and send the ATM a nice thank you card stating how happy you are that the other half of the kids at the orphanage will now have presents on Christmas.
Hey, if you're going to steal, you might as well lie about it.
Q: Do you ever feel sick after having sex? 4/7/03
Putterer: No. Unless, by "sick" you mean "a burning sensation when I pee".
Q: Have you ever been drunk at school? 5/5/03
Putterer: Only traffic school.
Random Comments: 7/15/03
Red Velvet: Putterer, that rope you think I should hang myself with...only if you promise to use it to hang yourself first.
Putterer: Sorry Red, I'm hung well enough as it is.
Q: Would you be more likely to marry your girlfriend if she turns up pregnant? 12/2/03
Putterer: Only if her father owned a shotgun.
Q: Have you ever dated a family member? 12/23/03
Putterer: Um... Do you consider pets to be family members?
In a suggestion where it is suggested that 6 or 7 stars be introduced for rating movies: 9/21/04
Putterer: All the movies should be able to have 10 stars. Except for 'This Is Spinal Tap' which should be able to go up to eleven.
After a suggestion to make an "enemy list", similar to a buddy list:
10/5/04
10/5/04
Putterer: I have one. It's called "Who's online".
In a thread discussing the use of photos of one's self in avatars:
10/26/04
10/26/04
Lizgirl14: I don't think pictures of yourself are a good thing, with no pictures no one can focuse on what you llok like on the outside and they'll focuse more on what u have to say bc they like u, but bc they think ur hot/.
Lizgirl14: *focus
Putterer: Out of all that, the only thing you decided to fix was focus?
In a thread titled "Tara Reid Exposed"in generals After the thread got to basically discussing the ugliness of Tara Reid's boob:
1/19/05
1/19/05
Putterer: I saved one of those pics for when I'm horny and don't feel like taking a cold shower. I have nude Janet Reno pics that are a bigger turn on.
In Yelena216's "He's so cute when I make fun of his penis size" journal: 1/25/05
Putterer: Oh boy, a penis-size discussion. I'm not going to touch this thread with my ten foot pole.
CaptainTrips (9)
Random Comments: 3/10/03
chofStone: Is this now the okeydoke forum??
CaptainTrips: can't we just put 'Bush Threads' under the catergory of not PG-13?
Random Comments: 3/24/03
postallbear: Nice job trips...you're turning over a new leaf..I can remember in the not too distant past when you would have said stupid fvcks instead of dumbasses..
CaptainTrips: yeah, I rememeber yesterday too postal
Random Comments: 3/24/03
w8in: "Meryl Streep, Sean Penn, Vanessa Redgrave, George Clooney, Dustin Hoffman and Spike Lee are among those who will not be speaking, amid fears they could turn the ceremony into an anti-war rally."
CaptainTrips: What the hell would Spike Lee be doing at the Oscars anyway?
Random Comment: 4/28/03
Culann: Trips should be the official YT Welcome Wagon.
CaptainTrips: Once again Culann proves just how smart he really is.
Culann: I can see it now: "Here's your fruit basket, now piss off."
CaptainTrips: "and by the way,i pissed in your fruit basket"
Random Comment: 7/21/03
XDarkAngelX: I've decided I need a woman...
CaptainTrips: Can I volunteer? Or are there like REALLY specific requirments, like a vagina.
After a random comment by Spider0, claiming that his mother, a lawyer, had evidence that McDonald's nuggets are made of cardboard: 11/25/03
captaintrips: Your mom is a liar and a moron, so I guess you weren't kidding when you said she was a lawyer.
In iheartvelcro's "Do you ever pretend to have a robotic hand?" journal: 12/9/03
CaptainTrips: I pretend I have a robotic arm all the time, I even make lame sound affects.
IHeartVelcro: That doesn't surprise me in the slightest Trips.
CaptainTrips: But by "all the time", I mean special occassions, and by "special occassions", I mean when I'm j**king off.
Does Hustler magazine scare you? 12/19/03
CaptainTrips: It scares my penis out of hiding, if that's what you mean.
random comment: 12/23/03
CaptainTrips: I have a confession to make: I have never seen It's A Wonderful Life.
jasendorf: That's why your heart is so cold and dark. If you had watched it, you'd become a liberal.
CaptainTrips: Note to self: never watch It's A Wonderful Life.
travbowman (8)
Random Comment: 1/1/03
jessica_146: My husband can't wait to see this movie.
travbowman: My hammer can't wait to break jessica's fingers.
Random Comments: 1/13/03
travbowman: Posts are done with a timestamp. By moving it, you'd be essentially going back in time. And if your parents don't get together at the enchantment under the sea dance, you'll never be born. And look out for Biff. He's a tough hombre.
Q: Would you rather have a full functional penis on your forehead, or not have one at all? 2/10/03
travbowman: I think hat sales would rise as a result
Random Comment: 2/17/03
travbowman: The beer fridge is fully stocked.
lyntess: Who're you kidding, trav-- you know full well that that one fridge won't even see you through the weekend.
travbowman: I'm hoping for a short war.
Q: Which do you prefer: hot dogs or tacos? 2/24/03
PremiumSpank: I would choose a taco just for the cheese.
chickern: why do i always feel like i'm the only one who gets this question?
travbowman: The possible context of the question makes premiumspank's answer really freakin' funny.
Random Comments: 3/24/03
travbowman: We need a cyborg mod.
johnr007: Or maybe, a Fonzborg mod...
travbowman: "Ayyy, Your post has been assimilated!"
Random Comments: 3/24/03
travbowman: Gash loathes everyone slightly. He's like Diet-Hael.
Random thread in Old Skool: 9/21/04
hckyguy14: How do I do screen shots? I have been trying to figure this out all day.
Travbowman: Salt the lemon. Pour the vodka on the monitor, lick the screen, suck the fruit.
killraven (7)
Random Comments: 1/13/03
thanatos355: debbie gibson: lost in your eyes
killraven: As cute and wholesome as Debbie was, she wasn't one of the greatest singers around, and that was one of her worst efforts.
thanatos355: had a thing for lil ole debbie did ya killraven?
killraven: I admit that, back in my teens, I thought Debbie was a bit of a looker...but we could never have been lovers, alas. Debbie was a nice Christian girl, whereas I was a pimply-faced atheist creep.
Q: Do you have someone tuck you in bed at night? 2/10/03
Killraven: Yes. Frau Stern, the big blonde German woman who lives upstairs, will...
Oh, sorry. You said TUCK...
Q: Do you ever laugh in the shower? 6/12/03
Killraven: Yes, especially when I look down at myself (although sometimes, I cry instead).
Q: Did your parents smoke around you as a kid? 12/19/03
KillRaven: Only when I set them on fire.
Q: Is there something in the world that everyone hates? 1/20/04
KillRaven: Yes, I'm pretty sure everyone would hate someone coming along and taking a huge sloppy dump in the meal that they're eating.
Thread regarding what BoredofU must have been like in school:
7/20/04
7/20/04
Killraven: TEACHER - Class, Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark. BOREDOFU - so you claim!
Q: Did your mom/dad leave notes for you in your sack lunch as a child?: 8/3/04
KillRaven: Yes, they did, but I hated them because they were messages assembled from letters cut from newspapers, and they said nasty things like IF YOU WANT TO SEE SPOT ALIVE AGAIN CLEAN YOUR ROOM BY 3PM OR ELSE HE GETS IT.
boredofu (6)
Q:What do you want most out of marriage? 2/10/03
boredofu: A hassle free divorce.
Q: With the United States current laws allowing abortion, should someone be convicted of double homicide if he/she kills a pregnant woman? 3/3/03
boredofu: Killing a woman should be pleaded down to justifiable homicide.
Q: Which state has the hottest chicks? 3/24/03
boredofu: The state of inebriation of course.
After a suggestion that the "spastic" mood in journals might be offensive to those who are actually spastic: 12/2/03
BoredOfU: Good point. That option is so retarded it's gay.
In a thread congratulating six YT members who will have babies in '04: 12/30/03
BoredOfU: Considering the number of "I'm late, what am I going to do?" journals, that's a modest return.
Thread titled "What do people in wheelchairs do when there is a fire in their workplace on the 9th floor of a building?": 7/20/04
Pantala: People in the trade center carried their disabled co-workers down the stairs. I'm also curious how people in wheelchairs get gas.
BoredOfU: Eating cabbage?
JDappleton (6)
In the thread about the death of the actor who played Wilson on Home Improvement: 1/13/04
JDappleton: I heard the visitation and funeral will feature a partially-open casket. You'll only be able to view his eyes and the top of his head.
Thread about Judy from Family Matters starring in porn films: 8/3/04
JDAppleton: "The Adventures of Peeping Tom 28" was an OK film, but if you didn't see "The Adventures of Peeping Tom" 1 through 27, you're going to be pretty lost."
OS thread titled "What impresses you?": 10/12/04
bukadaka: People who are really good at math.
JDAppleton: 432 x 18 = 7,776
Thread in Journals titled "for those who change diapers": 12/28/04
JDappleton: It's amazing how much crap comes out of my daughter. It's like more comes out than what she puts in. And corn? When the hell did she eat corn?!?!?
In the "Official Yassir Arafat Appreciation Thread": 1/11/05
JDappleton: Dude is AraPHAT!
Thread titled "Anyone here from Michigan?": 1/25/05
alonzo_c:I don't think anyone from Michigan is on YT.
corruptgod66:I'm from Michigan.
jdappleton:That's why you're not on YT.
Kepi (6)
Random Comment: 2/24/03
iced_brandy: Have you ever been warned by Modbot?
Kepi: No, but he gave me a sponge bath and tried to touch Mr. Winky!
Random Comment: 4/28/03
Kepi: My name is Kepi, and I came to YT because it costs less than crack."
Random Comments: 6/12/03
Kepi: I think the reason that Fusinski is so well known and respected is that he carries with him three of the most notable traits of three of Histories most notable people. He's got John F. Kennedy's sex appeal, Robert Kennedy's way with words, and JFK Jr's notariety. Of course, to believe all this, the reader's gotta have Ted Kennedy's Blood Alcohol Level.
In a thread about a writing contest that asked people to write a story that starts with 'Surprise!' everyone shouted as Mike and Cara entered the room, and ends with And so, by the end of the night, Mike was left holding a big piece of cheese - and he still couldn't find his other shoe.: 7/15/03
Kepi: "Suprise!" everyone shouted as Mike and Cara entered the room. Mike proceeded to drink 3 liters of tequila. And so, by the end of the night, Mike was left holding a big piece of cheese - and he still couldn't find his other shoe.
In a thread titled "Did LBJ kill JFK?": 2/11/04
JDAppleton: Deep down inside, I'm hoping that when Gerald Ford is on his deathbed, he looks up and in his last breath whispers, "Jim Garrison was right about everything."
Kepi: I would much rather him look and say somethin' really innapropriate like... "I'm really glad that ladybird was so awesome in the sack. Makes up for all the nagging..."
Thread titled "Looks like Rodney Dangerfield died": 10/26/04
Kepi: "Looks like?" So what, Are we just going by his career or have we found a body?
Camelboy (5)
Q: Would you date someone who didn't believe in having sex until marriage? 2/11/04
camelboy: That would only work for me if he were already married.
Q: Which do you believe in more: astrology or palmistry? 2/17/04
camelboy: Well I know my palm has magical powers, so I'll go with that.
Thread: William Hung gets record deal: 7/12/04
camelboy: No clue who he is, but I like his name...
Q: Is everything the male's fault?: 8/3/04
Bon: To err is man, to forgive is woman.
Camelboy: More like: To err is man, to pretend to forgive only to remember it in some ridiculous argument ten years later is woman.
In a thread where someone stated that "[Go]d said that it was ok to eat animals that had before been declared as 'unclean.'": 1/11/05
Camelboy: That may have been what He said to you, but when I was on the phone with Him the other day, He told me that was all a big joke to begin with because He wanted more shellfish for Himself.
Culann (5)
Q: Should marijuana be legal? 1/13/03
Culann: Good for Canada, well Ontario so far at least. Hopefully the US will start realizing the only reason it was made illegal in the first place was because white chicks started digging jazz.
Thread: YT Convention, in all seriousness 3/24/03
Culann: I wouldn't want to go to one if it was going to be in all seriousness. Jeesh, I'd want to enjoy myself.
Thread regarding bannings: 7/20/04
Fusinski: When did YT become Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, exactly? This recent banning of Trips is stupid and lame. This site is NOT PG-13. It's rated G these days. I want to know if the mods in power are really happy with this farse of a forum they have created--this gay Disney production. Seriously--and I am talking to Trav specifically in this next comment--how do you write a banning notice like THAT and not think to yourself, 'God I suck?'
Culann: No one's gonna want to be your neighbor with that attitude mister.
Thread stating that Bin Laden offered Europe a truce if European troops were withdrawn from Iraq: 7/27/04
Culann: He also added: "But wait! There's more! If Europe acts now, we'll throw in this free Al Qaeda potato peeler!"
In a thread discussing gay marriage: 8/24/04
WiseNSexy: Furthermore, the stats shocked me when I first saw them broken down by age. Older people OVERWHELMINGLY disagree with gay marriage. Younger people seem split down the middle. I hate to say this, but the gay rights movement's best ally is time. As older people pass away, support will continue to grow as the culture transforms.
Culann: Wise wants old people to die.
Fusinki (5)
Random Comment: 2/10/03
wisensexy: For fans, or for the topically interested, on February 5th, this Wednesday at 8pm on UPN, Jolene Blalock's character will get an AIDS-like disease
Fusinki: Hahaha... I knew she was a whore.
Random Comment: 2/17/03
Fusinski: You girls are just druggies. And whiners! I mean, childbirth this! You've never been hit by a linebacker!
Random Comment: 2/24/03
fusinski: There's nothing wrong with meeting people from the internet.
thistleking: As long as you know what you're getting yourself into.
fusinski: Hey, I met Culann at the bar and he didn't try to take advantage of me or anything.
I was disappointed.
On the movie thread for "Girl with the Pearl Earring": 1/27/04
Fusinski: I want to see the rated X sequel, Girl With A Pearl Necklace.
In the thread "Want to buy a HAL 9000?": 10/12/04
Fusinski: It would look great in the wall of your home, though. Perhaps across from the toilet in your bathroom. "Dave... stop that Dave... are you trying to kill me Dave? For god's sake Dave--how about a courtesy flush?"
buddy (4)
In response the Fred Durst's speech at the Grammy awards, "I hope we're all in agreeance this war will go away quickly": 3/3/03
buddy: Bush responded to Fred Durst. He said that he was in "disagreeancement" with what Durst said.
Random Comments: 4/7/03
def-x: Electric joined N*Sync? Doesn't he look like justin...just a lil?
buddy: Whoa and he's got a purse! Oh wait, I mean a European Carry-all.
In a thread by Warrick about losing his checkbook: 1/13/04
Warrick1830: Aw crap. First I lost my credit card, and now this. They'll think I'm an idiot...it doesn't help that I sign things with a giant W, does it?
Buddy: What a coincidence, I also sign your checks with a giant W.
In a thread about George Bush's comments at the Daytona500:
2/17/04
2/17/04
BigVBDude: They were interviewing him and asking him what he thought of being there. His reply was (paraphrased), "this gets back to my Guard days as a pilot. I love speed."
buddy: At least he didn't say "This reminds me of the days I was AWOL. I love cocaine."
CzarNicky (4)
Random Comment: 2/17/03
Explodo: Hell, I aim for the biggest part of the body.
Kepi: Which on a human is?
CzarNicky: according to most guys their penis.
Q: And, what do you think christianity is all about? 11/25/03
CzarNicky: Mostly about accepting a crucified jewish carpenter, who said he was the mesiah. Who ran afoul of the local jewish leaders and their Roman overlords. His death on the upon main form of execution of the time was supposed to change the way sins are forgiven by his dad, no not the other jewish carpenter, the big invisible guy who writes down what we do. ANd if you don't accept the jewish carpenter as your savior you end up spending eternity with the invisible guy's former top lieutenent who got fired for offering advice on how to gain knowledge by eating fruit.
Q: Is it possible that Jesus Christ faked his death? 12/30/03
CzarNicky: Yes and now he tends the plants in my building.
In a thread about the crashed Russian planes and the possibility that female terrorists could have carried bombs in their vaginas:
9/21/04
9/21/04
CzarNicky: I bet they were a blast in bed.
Momus (4)
Random Comment: 2/17/03
IcedBrandy: It's Abraham Lincoln's and Charles Darwin's birthday. How ironic.
Djm984: How so?
Momus: Because they both helped free the slaves.
Random thread titled Mob boss killed for having gay relationships.
5/5/03
5/5/03
Momus: I was expecting "Faggotaboutit", but I tend to think about word combinations too much. This just proves that homosexuals can be ruthless mafia kingpins as well. It's really uplifting, and provides hope to the hordes of homosexual men out there that had already resigned themselves to lives as actors, comedians, and hair dressers.
Old Skool thread titled "Who loves the sun?" 12/9/03
Momus: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So one day when I was six, I did...the next day I had my first headache.
In a thread discussing how names get shortened into common nicknames: 9/14/04
Rangergirl: How on earth do you get Dick from Richard?
Momus: Make him dinner first.
thanatos355 (4)
Random Comment: 2/24/03
thanatos355: we just use quote marks, saves bandwidth.
Freyja: define "quote marks".
thanatos355: """ """
Q: Does love feel like having a grenade in your hand? 3/10/03
thanatos355: no, you're confusing love with masturbation.
In a thread where it was revealed that Fusinski drives a Vibe:
8/24/04
8/24/04
bluskyz86: Ha, my grandma drives a vibe.
thanatos355: Sounds like granny has a terrible duracell habit.
In a thread asking about ethnic background: 9/28/04
richard_stan: I have some Mongolian in me.
thanatos355: Hey hey hey, leave your sexual preference out of this!
Wertzro (4)
In a thread where Wertzo asked how much it would cost for Explodo's sister. 12/9/03
Explodo: Two Floppy Disks and a Link to good p*rn.
Wertzro: Well, if you have a link to good p*rn, you're not going to have floppy disks.
In a thread about Governator Beer: 1/13/04
XDarkAngelX: I wonder if on the label it says something to the extent of: "Warning, consuming large amounts of Governator may cause you to grope women."
Wertzro: No XdaX, it says: "Vahning, konsoomink lahge ahmonts ov Governatah may cawse you to grope vimen"
In a thread about advice for Valentine's day: 1/27/04
Sofey: A vase is always a good gift. It is full of promise and hope. And then you can regularly bring her fresh flowers to put into the vase! It's genius.
Wertzro: Along that line of thought, you could give her a box of condoms. Full of promise and hope; and regularly bring her something to put in it!
Random thread: 8/17/04
Boredofu: Inside every woman there's an angry man trying to get out.
Wertzro: I always thought it was "outside every woman is a horny man trying to get in"?
wiseNsexy (4)
Random Comment: 2/24/03
Explodo: Then you would hate the version of the Prowler they call the "Queer"
wiseNsexy: The Queer? Well...I see potential.
Mission: Homolicious!
OS thread titled "I've been duped by advertising": 10/12/04
WiseNSexy: Anyway, you know how they say Snickers satisfies you? Well it does, in the sense that it makes you fat. Snickers satisfies you, because it makes you fat. They just forgot to add on that last half.
Thread about an 11 year old girl who tried to attack her babysitter with a shovel, baseball bat, BB gun, and a machete: 12/21/04
WiseNsexy: Wow, if they get just few more objects they can get a good game of CLUE going.
Q: If 9/11 (and the events that ensued) never happened, would you have voted for a different Presidential candidate?: 1/28/05
Wisensexy: Oh cool, it's like Choose Your Adventure. "If your country had not been taken over by a right-wing fantatic, turn to page 78. But if your country is still ruled by someone who thinks science makes Jesus angry, turn to page 24."
Fenris (3)
Random Comments: 6/12/03
Buddy: Solaris was a big flop here... Have no idea what the offensive content was.
Fenris: I may be mistaken, buddy, but I think it was George Clooney
In a thread about new cars: 1/20/04
Kikipeepers: Ooh that Highlander isn't bad ... not too bad of a price either...
Fenris: But trouble is, Kiki, there can be only one.
In reference to 3 "hate" threads which reached 1000 posts: 10/19/04
fenris: When all of this is over...there's gonna be one heck of a make up sex thread.
mambotomato (3)
Q: Is there something you'd like to thank the French for? 3/24/03
mambotomato: Um...keeping Spain from floating away.
Random Comment: 4/28/03
FaeriePoet: Did anyone watch the new Michael Jackson Home Videos special last night on Fox??!!! I saw it and I absolutely LOVED it!! It was soooo damn cool! I was laughing my ass off for two hours...man I've been an MJ fan for 15 years and I had no clue that he was so hilarious!
MamboTomato: Man, I didn't think there actually were people who would be able to watch that without their sense of decency climbing out their mouth and beating them to death...
In a thread discussing how parents are paranoid about their kids buying drugs, and won't let them have lunch money: 8/24/04
Wesgro: